


Goodbyes

by kittycat_beans



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, F/F, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25338058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittycat_beans/pseuds/kittycat_beans
Summary: Reader gets bit. Oops.
Relationships: Abby (The Last of Us)/Reader, Abby Anderson/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Last one to be imported for the time being. If you'd like more, let me know :)

The warm glow of the Sun bathing Seattle's decay made it a beautiful landscape. You took in the parting of night and the birth of another day. Light bouncing off the greenerie, slipping through the thin cracks in the buildings; the rays on your cheeks and the shine on the metal of your gun. It showered your lover in shades of dawn, the pastel of yellows and oranges making her hair look like gold and kissing each freckle on her face, shoulders and arms.

You took a breath; the clean air passing through your lungs and leaving in a soft sigh. The blonde stretched, your delight visible in the grin you gave your partner when a bit of her stomach showed. It put a bounce in your step seeing her in such a good mood, approaching with the intent of a kiss, placing it on your lips and whispering that she was ready.

Gloved fingers spread the paper open. You two studied the map until the image was burnt into your mind. The blueprints to the hospital with bright red marker circling entrances and exits came next. You strained to memorize every level, tucking it away into the back-pocket of your trousers. Confident in your ability to navigate through the city, you lead the way until the towering concrete giant came into view.

You crouched in the grass, opening the prints to the hospital. Pointing at the side of the building with your finger, your first order was given. Finding a way inside would be complicated but it wouldn't compare to the inside. You both were on edge from the shift in the air -- the weight of realization dawning on you and the soldier -- heavy from the mold and moss that covered the outside and slipped into the rooms, leaving a familiar unpleasant stench behind.

A gloved palm rests on your shoulder, the faint oceanic color with rings of hazel of her eyes glued to your heaving form. "We can do this.", she spoke with absolute resolve to strengthen yours. With an exhale and a curling of your fists, you headed inside. Up the fire-escape ladders, through the shattered remains of wide windows. The glass cracked underneath your boots, each shard covering the hallways. The moist air making it hard to breathe properly.

Most of the interior had been gutted, salvaged for supplies by other survivors. All that was left was the eerie silence and the crushing weight of the souls that wandered the hospital. It put a coldness in your heart, like ice crawling into your chest. The thought of how high the number of casualities was made you feel nervous. More deaths meant more infected and that meant more spores. Spores that could so easily enter your body, turning you into a beast.

Abby placed a hand on your cheek, the comfort of her touch calmed your breathing. You swallowed the musky taste that lingered in the air, touching at dirty walls, seeing the skeleton of the hospital in your head. The silence made your partner suspicious, it forced her to look through semi-open doors. The lack of groaning and crying from the infected sealed the idea that yes, the nest really was below you.

You expected a few strays to appear but there was nothing. Nothing. Now that was terrifying, more than having to fight humanoid creatures or actual human beings. It was what lurked in the shadows that put a primal sense of fear in you -- watching, waiting for you to make a mistake so it could take you.

"We can get down through the elevator but I'm not sure how far down…", the blonde gripped at the slit between the metal doors, pulling them open with a grunt. You looked down at the elevator's top, the chain you had to climb looked sturdy enough. She went first, testing how well the cable handled her weight. You prayed for it not to snap and followed behind, landing on the elevator with a thud. She did you a favor, giving you time to recall which level you were in before opening the doors wide open.

 _"You're fucking amazing, babe.",_ you gave her a pat on the back. She grinned down at you. Both crossed the deceased hallways; the fungal growth was more significant there, covering the floor, walls and ceiling in a mass of organic flesh that resembled human skin if you squinted. In-between mushrooms lay what looked like the remains of corpses. All of them rather small. Like it belonged to children. The bile touched the back of your tongue and you took a second to force it down, your insides stinging.

Abby remained silent -- gloved palm caressing what was left of once colorful walls. You could still make out the shapes of flowers and animals. It was all muted in color, mostly covered in fungi and dark stains. It must have been blood. A lot of it.

God, what happened here?

As you two reached the stairs the air became insufferable. The wolf helped you put your mask on and you helped with hers. Through the well-worn visor you could see the specks floating up from the lower levels. Underneath the white of your flashlight the spots looked almost surreal. How they waltzed in the air like...fireflies. There was a morbid beauty to them. You guessed, Nature had a way of making the awful beautiful if you took it for what it was. Not the death sentence it presented to your species but for the chance for the infected to flourish, to thrive.

You were getting closer to the nest…

Spores aplenty floated in the air. Each step you took made the fungal growth beneath you snap and crumble. The hard shells covering the stairs made it tricky to move without making noise. Living in the walls, the growth pulsated like a heartbeat, pumping more spores out and clouding your vision. You and Abby swatted at the air, clearing it just enough to see the abandoned stretchers and wheelchairs rusted from being left in a moist environment so long.

There was almost no inch of this level untouched by the fungus. It made you feel paranoid how every spot looked the same, like you were in a maze full of predators waiting at the chance to jump you. Abby was tense; you heard the very faint tapping of her leather gloves on the barrel of the shotgun, the way she was breathing with effort. It would be bad for you to stay down there longer than needed. You had to hurry, salvage whatever supplies were left, find the nest and burn that damn thing to kingdom come so it wouldn't spawn more infected.

It seems your peace and quiet in that mess of a building had only been temporary. Of course, it was only a matter of time until your unwanted presence disrupted the creatures' slumber. You stilled with a pipe-bomb in your hand. Like the birth of something horrible, the first two infected tore through the mass of fungi with loud screeching. Head morphed into a disarray of flesh, mushroom and teeth; liquid that poured from its gaping maw hitting the floor and making it bubble. With a pained scream that was certain to awaken others, the clicker attacked.

Pulling the trigger first, Abby aimed for the growths on it's head. It stumbled back from the force of the bullets, half its skull spilling to the ground with a wet and uncomfortable sound. You took your handgun and aimed for the other clicker, unloading bullet after bullet until it crashed to the floor in a series of odd movements. The spasms settled but the crunching of the living nest coming from behind a set of doors made your skin crawl. Soon, you had a swarm of infected bursting through the door, some stumbling over themselves and crawling towards you, others were much more agile and running at full-speed.

"Move! Move!", Abby shouted and turned back with you running after. You two slipped into a room as an attempt to put distance between you and the group of infected. "Now! Throw it now!", she tossed a flare to blind the runners and you raised your arm high to throw the pipe-bomb. The explosion made the walls shake, debris falling from the burst. It managed to knock out a few but it only hindered the more well armored infected for a couple of seconds.

"I got this! Give them another!", the blonde shot at the stragglers while you lit up a bottle with a rag soaked in alcohol and threw it, watching them claw at their own bodies to try and put out the flames.

You shot them down while they burned alive, soon emptying the room and hallway. Silence returned but it didn't mean the end of your nightmare. You went back into the hall, looking at your girlfriend with an expression of concern. She only saw the narrowing of your eyes and brows, giving a nod and kneeling down to prepare the flame-thrower. You clutched your rifle and closed your eyes, opening them when you felt the wolf's hand urging you forwards.

"Let's take a look around. Five minutes and we come back here. If anything happens, scream.", if that was meant to be a joke then you didn't find her to be very funny. Abby left to scour for stuff and you went the opposite side to do the same. Being here on your own made you hurry, frantically searching through drawers and cabins. What you found you shoved into your backpack without reading the labels or expiration dates. Fuck that, you would rather carry more on your back and throw the bad stuff away when you were safe outside.

Your scavenger hunt ended with the beeping of your wrist watch. You met Abby in the hallway with a few pats to her jacket. _"Can we just get out of here before I throw-up in my mask?",_ you laughed softly to drown out your nerves. She agreed, eager to leave and go back home for some food and a nap. Now that sounded like a plan you could get behind.

It was time to face the inevitable -- that wide and dark room the nest must have started in. You took careful steps, looking around for more infected that might have been playing hide and seek. Abby went into the room first, finding the open cacoon of fungi that had grown around furniture. It had created roots in the ground and walls, the spores bursting through the slim cracks in it's shell. You noticed the shape of the furniture, eyes wide, looking around the room.

The baby motifs on the wall…

"This isn't it…", Abby spoke.

 _"What?",_ you shook your head clear of thought.

"The nest. It's all wrong…", she moved closer to take a look at the split cocoon. It looked like the infection might have started here with all of the spores and clickers but she insisted this looked nothing like the nests she had seen before.

The ceiling creaked above you, head turning up to expect debris to be giving out. Your eyes widened at the sight of a complex body hanging from a hole in the ceiling. A mass of fungi and flesh, each bit of it moving in different directions as if it was trying to split itself free. You held your breath, watching the creature descend with a heavy drop that knocked both of you to the ground. Abby screamed at you to move but you froze, staring at that abomination.

Body like a black widow with a growth on its back that spit out spores from where the fungi hadn't covered it. The sides were a mixture of fully grown arms and legs and chubby members that twisted like worms. The front -- mere inches from your terrified face -- a mess of female features and what you could only guess toddlers. Their expressions looked so human; the high-pitched crying of the newborns from their open mouths and the deep groaning from their care-takers made a visceral sound that chilled every part of your body.

"Snap out of it!", Abby plunged her fingers into the massive growth on the back, heels digging into the floor to keep the mass of infected from crawling towards you. "Get out, now!", she shouted and you saw the babies' head rotate towards her, closed eyes focused on the blonde as they cried loudly from the pain of being held. The more mature faces morphed into expressions of anger, body slowly turning for it to face the soldier. "Yeah, that's right…",. she let go of the beast and made a run for you, grabbing you by the arm and bolted out of the nursing room.

 _"What…what was…"_ , you struggled to even finish your sentence. Abby burst into a room and turned to face you, shaking your shoulders. You looked at her with fear in your eyes, having a hard-time coming to your senses after seeing that awful creation.

The blonde put her hand on the side of your mask and bumped her filter against yours. "I'm here. You need to calm down.", she was gentle and quiet despite the urgency of your situation. You were glad that monster was slow or it would be entering the room to devour you both while you just panicked.

 _"Y-yeah, yeah…",_ you nodded and forced yourself to get a grip. _"We…do we kill it…what…",_ Abby checked your pistol and your rifle, loading bullets and then putting the guns in your lap. "Guess that's a yes.", it didn't make you happy hearing her hum but you couldn't risk having that thing pumping out more infected and putting your scouts in danger.

You two quickly came up with a plan. While that creature was slow, it was also massive and had a lot of hardened fungi on its' body. If you two struck at it at the same time then it wouldn't be able to get to any of you. So you decided to take the back and Abby went for the front. You two stepped outside to find the beast worming itself out of the doors, its' large body barely fitting. You thought this was all far too easy. It was so slow that you could just put all the bullets you had in it before it even got out.

When the newborns shrieked then you understood this wasn't going to be easy. The noise forced the clickers out from the walls and to add more fuel to your nightmare, the creature began to tremble from all spots, like a bag of snakes trying to get out as bizarre looking corpses crawled out from its' skin.

"Shit…", Abby cursed and fired off flames. The fire engulfed the clickers but they still stumbled closer while being burnt. She continued to focus on those in front of you while you shot at the bodies coming from the walls. "The stairs! Go!", she shouted for you to move back, forcing you to unload your resources on the infected behind you two to clear way.

There were a lot of them. It was as if the big one's crying had made them all crazy. They came from every part of every room, every wall from the hallway and from underneath the stairs. You felt them try to grab you but Abby knocked the blunt end of her gun against them. It was too overwhelming and as you ran out of bullets, you realized you two had to get out because there was no way to win this fight.

She went forwards, shooting the last bits of fire to clear the stairs. You rushed upwards but felt a hand wrap around your leg. The clickers climbing over one another to try and get to you. One of them did, its' nails digging into your leg as you tried to kick it off of you. The sharp sting of brown nails into your shoulder made you yell for Abby who tugged you up and away from the clicker who had ambushed you from the side. The remains of its' small cocoon tummbling down the steps as your soldier shot the last few pumps left in her shotgun.

You ran with her until you felt safe near an open window. You took a breath, removing your mask and putting your head out of the window. Mind in a haze from what had happened, you didn't realize that you had been bitten until Abby rushed forwards and put a hand on your arm, pulling it down to expose the pieces of cloth and flesh missing from your bloody shoulder. She cussed, pulling you further away and locking the office's door with a large cabinet.

"Let me see that…", she opened her bag and looked for bandages and pills. You stared at your arm and then your shoulder. There were two rows of teeth on the skin that was leaking lines of blood. Abby took your hand, looking up at your pale, sweaty face.

"Hey, this is nothing, you hear me?", her voice was a distant sound. Muffled by the loud crying and the moaning and the screeching coming from below. It all became silent, your mind slowly processing what it meant to be bitten by a clicker. You remained in silence as Abby poured alcohol on your wound and put bandages against it, trying to stop the blood.

The odd ringing in your ears turned to buzzing, it turned to Abby's voice calling for you. You looked at her with the beginnings of tears in your eyes. She put a hand on your cheek, glove hitting the ground. It all came rushing in at once. The pain, the panic, the fear and you let it all out in one loud, pained scream.

She covered your mouth, hearing the infected move around in the halls. You went quiet, limp in her arms as you hit at her chest and started sobbing in the crook of her neck. She held you tight, caressing your head and whispering white lies in your ear.

No, no, no, no…

You pulled away from her with a deep groan, a flurry of emotions making your movements erratic as you paced the room. You hated Abby for bringing you into this mess. You were angry at yourself because you could have avoided this situation had you not started to panic. You were scared for both your lives because you knew there was no way out of this room without having to fight again. You were terrified of seeing that abomination again. You were terrified because you were bit. Bit by a clicker.

 _"How long?",_ you looked at Abby.

She slowly approached you, taking your hands in hers. "How long what?", she tried to console you but you felt like a maniac, going back and forth.

 _"Until I turn. How long?",_ you asked.

Abby clenched her fists and got closer again, her voice louder; "You're not going to fucking turn. It, it's not even that deep! We need to get back. Mel ca-"

 _"Shut up! Shut up!",_ you covered your ears and started to peel off your sweater. It was really hot in that room. You felt a headache coming. _"You know I'm fucking dead so…how long?!"_ , you yelled.

She pointed a finger at you, "Don't you fucking give up like that! You don't know! M-maybe you're like, immune?! How'd you know unless you got bit?", her loud rambling made your head pound so bad…

 _"You know that's bullshit, Abby. You've seen what getting bit does to people. I don't want to end up like that…"_ , you scratched at your shoulder but she took your wrists, stopping you from opening the wound furthet. She shook your arms, speaking inches from your face, her voice quivering with raw emotion.

"You're not, okay?! We're going back and we're going to fix it. You'll be fine, you'll see…", she didn't sound convinced. Her words were empty and both of you knew it. Abby was refusing to accept that she was going to lose you. Even if you two went back to the WLF and kept it a secret, she'd watch you grow sick and weak until you lost all of your humanity and turned into a corpse covered in fungi and gore.

"I can't lose you… Please don't do this to me. I…I don't know if I can handle losing you…", Abby's arms held you tight. She whimpered into your hair, body shaking with silent sobs. You wrapped your arms around her, closing your eyes and resting your tired head on her shoulder. She shook harder…

You didn't realize you fell asleep soon after…

Your reddening eyes opened to the sight of your girlfriend hugging you in her lap. Her jacket over your shoulders, you assumed you must have felt cold during your nap. She mumbled 'sorry', feeling you squirm in her grasp. You looked up at her, the way her cheeks were wet from tears, her eyes bloodshot from the crying. She looked so exhausted.

 _"Abby…it's okay…you can go…",_ her response to you was to squeeze you closer, almost crushing you in her arms. You whispered in her ear, _"You can't stay here…you have to eat. You have to sleep…you look like shit…",_ trying to lighten the mood but it wasn't working. It wouldn't work. Jokes wouldn't make the situation better but you didn't know what else to do.

Between your body growing sore, the change in body temperature and your massive migraine, you felt a moment of clarity. You wouldn't be spending whatever time you had left crying on your lover's arms and feeling miserable. You wouldn't spend your final hours crying over something neither of you could change. You wanted to feel happy. If you were going to die then you wanted to feel happy for a bit.

You pushed yourself off of a miserable looking wolf and stood up. First you opened your bag and took Abby's, putting all of your stuff inside. You tucked your gun into your back pocket. Then you looked around the room, seeing if you could find anything. A piece of paper would be fine.

"What are you doing?", she stood up, wiping her eyes with her thumbs. "W-wh…", she watched you make some sort of list, handing it to her. Her eyes read over the list, a confused look on her face.

 _"We're going to do what's on this list and then you're back home.",_ your tone was firm but it was obvious from your body that you were nervous. It wasn't easy ignoring the fear but you refused to let it control you. You were strong. You knew you were.

Abby's head fell to the side, feeling a mixture of emotions. "H-how can you be so calm?", the blonde was frustrated but seeing your unwavering form, she realized it was either agree with you or argue with you and she did not want to make you cry again.

"Alright. Let's see…", she swallowed the bitterness of the moment and read over the list. "All of the things I'd do if I was stuck in a room with my very buff girlfriend. Number one, dance…Really?", that actually managed to make her chuckle. It was a soft sound but it meant you were on the right track.

You offered her your hand, she took it with a brief smile. There was no music but you two danced to the sound of silence. You slow-danced, humming against your lover's shoulder. She squeezed your hand, trying to fight back her urge to cry.

When you were done waltzing, she went over the list again. "Number two, share embarrassing stories from our childhood..", Abby sat next to you on the office floor and you two began sharing stories about when you were you were younger and dumber.

Hours passed of you two laughing and cringing at your stories. You had started coughing near the end but Abby made no comment, just held your hand.

Third on the list was complimenting each other. It had been hard coming up with things to fill the paper so you just wrote what had come to mind. So, you two spoke about what you liked about each other and you heard Abby let out a genuine snort when you started to ramble about her huge muscles.

Fourth on the list was apologizing for doing or saying something that hurt the other. It made the air heavy but forced you two to be honest. You said you were sorry for starting fights with her over small and useless things. She apologized for yelling at you.

Fifth was telling bad jokes. You were growing tired and had issues remembering things right. Abby was sleepy but forced herself to stay awake. You told her to skip a line and suggested splitting your energy bar and taking a nap. She refused to eat and sleep.

As hours passed you started to feel worse. Your body was hot and itchy. Your mouth was dry and you felt like you were going to throw up. You started to cough up liquid and felt it was harder to see.

You looked at Abby, watching her face twist in sadness. She still cried at your appearance. You felt like there were no tears left but still sobbed. The air on the room grew heavy again but you didn't think you had the energy to make jokes. You were so tired but tried so hard not to sleep until you saw Abby leave the hospital. You knew it had to end soon.

 _"I think we should do the last step.",_ you stood up and slowly made your way to her backpack. You picked it with some difficulty, feeling your muscles wanting to give out. _"It's time to go…",_ you sighed.

Abby shook her head, ripping the paper apart and throwing the pieces in the air. "No, I'm leaving you in here. I can't…", she took the bag from you and tossed it away. "You come with me or we both stay.", she snarled through her teeth, trying to scare you into going with her. It wouldn't work. You couldn't just walk into the stadium without anyone seeing the way you were in. You looked sick. Dying.

 _"Abby, now you're the one who's giving up. What do you get from dying here?"_ , your voice was quiet. You had no energy in you to start a fight with her.

"I can't just leave knowing you'd die here like, like some fucking deceased mutt! You deserve better than this. Please…Let's go home…", the crack in her voice made you feel awful and for a moment, you considered taking her hand and leaving with her.

Would it be okay? Maybe you just had to take some antibiotics and you'd be fine. Or maybe you could just stay alive a little longer and spend a few more days or weeks or months with her…

 _"They'd shoot me the moment the saw I got bit. It's not…I don't want to go like that…"_ , you rubbed at your eyes and nose. She took your hand, tugging you towards the door. You didn't fight her. You watched her lead you back to the elevator, helping you climb up to the ceiling and carrying you up the cable.Bile shot out of your throat when you saw the mess of kid's drawings on the way up. She cleaned your mouth with her sleeve and kissed your head and you closed your eyes at the touch, smiling softly.

You walked for a bit but your body started to grow heavy and you slouched on your way to the window and the fire-escape. Abby helped you out, carrying you all the way down. She reached the bottom and heaved. You saw that it was dusk and wondered how long the two had been in there. Judging from the time on your watch, you'd say… Two days?

Abby had to stop after a while. She hadn't slept or had food or water. There was no way she'd be able to carry you all the way back. She'd just end up getting herself killed and it'd be all your fault…

 _"Nnn, stop. Abby…no more…",_ you pushed her away with the bit of strength you had left. _"This is as far as I go. Please, just say goodbye…"_ , your speech was growing slow, like moving your tongue was hard.

Abby yelled 'no', anger spilling from her pores as she stomped her foot and pointed at you like some child throwing a tantrum. "I know what that gun is for. In your pocket? Fuck, I'm not letting you kill yourself!", she yelled so loudly at you that you just started crying. It was like on instinct -- the sound of her voice echoing in your head caused you pain.

 _"This isn't about what you want! It's about what I want and I don't want to turn! If it were you, you'd do the same thing!",_ your fingertips rubbed at your pulsating temples, trying to soothe the pain.

Abby cringed, knowing that you were right. Had she been the one being bit then she would have done the same thing. But this was different, this wasn't one of you suffering, this was both of you.

"Do you know what you're asking me to do? I can't walk away while you...", she sucked in a breath and rubbed at her face. You knew she wanted to cry but was trying to keep it together. You wrapped your arms around her, hugging lightly while she did the same, scared of hurting your poor, weak body.

 _"Last step. We say goodbye…",_ you murmured into her chest. She didn't answer for a while but when you squeezed her a bit, she eventually relented.

You sat with her on the grass and you finally said your goodbyes. You thanked her for all she had done for you. She held you close, whispering about how much she loved you. You said you hoped she'd get back safe. She said she'd miss you. She repeated it until you covered her mouth with your palm, placing your lips over it. Your last kiss…and because of the fungus, you couldn't even feel her lips on yours.

Abby got up, waiting for you to follow her. You lowered your head and stood in the grass. She tried to convince you to come with her but you said you were too tired. She made a promise to herself to come back for you, to give you a proper burial. To be surrounded by friends and put to rest at home.

You watched her leave, her hulking form slowly shrinking in the distance. She looked back but you really weren't moving. Something in her told her to run so she sprinted far, far away until you didn't see her anymore. Then you sighed and reached for your back pocket, closing your eyes with a whimper.

Abby froze at the loud thundering sound. Birds flew from the trees, casting an ominous shadow over her. She clawed at her chest and screamed.

In that moment all she felt was… **empty**.


End file.
